self help

How to know if you are subconsciously rejecting money

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I come across so many people who turn down money in many ways.You’d think that everyone wants to have access to more money in their lives so that they can have the freedom and time to spend it in the way they want, but the results don’t quite tell the same story.

They come up with all sorts of excuses to pass up their chance, indirectly turning away money and other doors that could have opened up otherwise. When I work with people to find out why they are not making their desired income, they’re dumbfounded when I point out to them they are resisting money in one way or the other.

On the conscious level, we all like the idea of having our wealth easily accessible — but some of us subconsciously reject the idea, hence we unknowingly turn away from the roads that lead us to our desired goals.

Here are the three most common false beliefs that hold people back from attaining more wealth and happiness in their lives. Do any of these speak to you?

Belief #1: Making money is difficult

False! Making money can be easy — at least for you. Since you are reading this post, I’m going to assume you have the privilege to access an infinite sea of knowledge online, just under your fingertips. And if you can follow what I said up until this point, you have sound cognitive abilities to process what I’m about to say, and therefore this applies to you.

How we invest our time, our energy, our abilities is entirely up to us. You can work fourteen hours a day and still make much less than someone who works the same amount of time in a week.

So if you can believe in working that many hours a day just to make a living, why not split that in half and invest the rest of your time creating or looking for opportunities that will get you to the next level?

Belief #2: Making lots of money is only for other people

False! Making lots of money is for anyone, including yourself. A lot of us have an unrealistic perception that being rich means we have to be famous, or live under the spotlight, or have celebrity status. Some of us even go to conclude that they must have eccentric taste and drive a Ferrari.

When we imprint our minds with this image, we disassociate ourselves from the possibilities of getting rich. These impressions indirectly tell us in order to be rich, we have to first fulfill the “prerequisites”, such as having all the external status symbols to be qualified for a wealthy life.

In reality, there are plenty of wealthy people that act and behave like any of us who live under the radar. And we don’t see them in the media because they don’t get picked up by the media, so there is no chance for us to break this false belief.

Once we remove the idea that making lots of money is only for “other” people, we could believe that the person next door is a secret millionaire… or better yet, that person could be you!

Belief #3: I don’t have what it takes to make more money

False! You have everything you need to make more money. We hold on to the illusion that we need more to succeed in this world because telling ourselves that we “don’t have enough” is a perfectly valid excuse for why we are not successful already.

The fact that there is truth to both sides is because of confirmation bias — we only look for evidence that supports the reality that we believe in, simply because that makes us comfortable. Therefore, if you want to convince yourself that you will achieve your desired income goals, start looking for evidence that favors this belief and work your way there.

Change your beliefs, change your life

Our beliefs define the actions we take, and our actions define our outcomes. So if we want to change the world we live in and start making improvements to our lives, we must start by changing our beliefs.

Now, are you ready to open your eyes and the infinite possibilities that support your dreams?

Breaking Up With Guilt Around Money

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Have you ever questioned yourself if pursuing more wealth and money is the "noble" thing to do? Are you afraid of being accused of "greed" when you chose the option makes you more money? Have you been told that you “don't deserve it". Have you held back from celebrating your own success because you thought it might make your family feel bad, because they did not manage to reach those achievements themselves?


Who are we kidding? Is it not right to take care of ourselves? Is it not right to make sure we can afford a roof over our heads and have food on the table? Better yet, isn’t it a great thing to be able to take care of others from the wealth that we create? To spread love, help others, or contribute to causes that we support? Unfortunately, not everyone seems to agree. You may be experiencing guilt from the hardwired internal dialogue, or punishing yourself for feeling great because you know the rest of your family hadn’t done so well in the past.


I know the word "guilt" used here is a powerful word, and I’m not trying to make things look pretty. Because we’ve brushed it under the carpet with our best efforts to not deal with it, only for it to accumulate that manifests in more money problems and heartbreak in the end. It’s an emotion that we experience deeply even though some of us don't even realise or acknowledge the presence of that feeling. It’s the moment that doesn’t feel right knowing you have to give up something you truly value to pursue an opportunity that pays better. Or it’s that discomfort about receiving more money because you believe you deserve less. Well, let’s talk about it.

A lot of us are stuck in this dilemma. On one hand we want to get more money out of our time – so that we can achieve our financial goals faster. On the other hand our mind interrogates ourselves asking us if we really deserve to achieve financial wealth on a higher level. This common scenario shows how our subconsciousness plays a big part in talking ourselves out of achieving true bliss, alignment, and happiness when it comes to making more money. It's so powerful that sometimes we manage to find reasons to get out of the opportunity that gives us more monetary reward.

To understand why this happens and untangle these feelings, we need to look into the self-talk that takes place when guilt kicks in. It comes up in many ways. They most commonly show up as dialogues like:

"I grew up in a family where we've always struggled with money, and now I feel ashamed to share my accomplishments with them"

"I feel like I'm not giving enough value to receive this much in return" or,

"I don't have the qualifications to be charging or being paid this much" or,

"Making this level of income means I might miss out important milestone moments of seeing my baby grow up"


Scripts like these will keep replaying in your head in the background. We all do a good job putting away our emotions in the day. We'll roll it into a ball and stuff it into our pockets. But the moment you quiet down these familiar voices make their way back into your head again, and they remind you that they're here to stay. They disguise themselves as being our "truths".


So you've allowed the guilt sit around for longer than you wished and it's finally time to call them out because it's not leading you anywhere. The best way and only way is to be at peace with your feelings and your inner self talk. In the beginning they were here to remind you to live with integrity and be the best possible version of yourself. They have served their purpose, and it's time to channel guilt into purposeful, useful energy. 


Know that there are many ways to be in touch with your emotions and receive a lot of money without feeling guilty. Know that you can associate your work to feelings of pride, passion and satisfaction. Know that the influence and impact you bring onto the world deserves much more credit than you allow yourself to receive. 


Know that by breaking up with guilt, you're releasing yourself from your limitations and false beliefs, so that you can finally enjoy the bliss of having abundance that's been waiting for you.

4 Self-loving steps you can take to master your subconsciousness when you don’t have money

If you’re reading this post, chances are, you’ve experienced that chatter like a broken tape in your own head for a while now, and to say that it’s bothersome and discouraging is just an absolute understatement. You want to “mute” it altogether. I totally understand, because I’ve spent so much time trying to “make it go away”, or like some people say, “just practice positive thinking”, or “just keeping working hard”, but I wish it was as simple as that.

It’s important to acknowledge that most of the time, we experience our internal struggles 1000 folds more than our external circumstances. The issue of not having money is super urgent to most people and that makes us more desperate to scramble for any quick solutions we can find.

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We experience our internal struggles 1000 folds more than our external circumstances

In times of stress, it’s natural to have an urge to fight these chatters out of our heads, but also understand they exist in our minds as a means of protective mechanism – so that our adrenaline keeps us from making mistakes in our next steps. But sometimes, our self-doubt and insecurities takeover and blind us from great opportunities that are just underneath our noses.

So I want to share with you my 4 easy and actionable steps to walk you through your difficult times. There is always a silver lining at the end of the tunnel.

 

STEP 1: Identify those factors that bring negative thoughts to your head

What is the “prompt” – such as an item, an action, a person, a negative influence, or something happening? Find out what is the one thing that pushes your buttons to unleash these uncontrolled negative self-talk? Learn how to look out for an anticipate dealing with these emotions next time so they don’t catch you off guard.

 

STEP 2: Write in a journal about your current emotions on your money struggle

Don’t be afraid to get 100% real with yourself to have this dialogue about your struggle, about your obstacles, and what you experience when caught between all these feelings. When you’re finished, underline words with negative sentiment, or odd sentences that stand out to you. Study your words. And make note of any underlying subconscious thoughts because they’re the ones we really want to get familiar with. Now it’s time to dive deeper and ask to yourself, why you are having those specific feelings? Such as – what exactly did I mean by “getting too much”, or, how much is “not having much to live with”. Problems always seem overbearing until we put them onto paper and break them down into small, manageable parts. Be very specific

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Write them down even if they are super small tasks, taking any action gives you momentum, and momentum gives you power

STEP 3: Turning struggle into meaningful action

So this step is very important. Convert those struggles from STEP 2 into specific actionable items, coming up with at least 2-5 immediate solutions on what you’re going to do about it and give yourself a manageable timeline. Write them down even if they are super small tasks, taking any action gives you momentum, and momentum gives you power. By listing out your solutions, you are reclaiming your control of the situation. Believe me – the more solutions you write, the ideas will trickle in. You can set them as “tasks” – the best way to keep yourself accountable is to make sure you put them in your calendar, so you can plan and anticipate your tasks coming up (this will free up your mind space) Actions only take place when you follow through!
 

STEP 4: Send yourself positive reminders with your phone wallpaper (this works super well)

We all look at our phones about 40-60 times each day on average (shocking, I know!). So make the best use of our time and valuable attention by sending a powerful message to ourselves each time we get a chance to look at it.

This is by far… my absolute favorite part. Head over to Pinterest and find yourself an uplifting affirmation quote that meets your soul’s needs, I mean, one that you can 100% resonate with. Chances are – if you see it enough times, your mind will believe it. Find a quote or positive message that directly addresses your internal struggle. The science behind motivational quotes and why they work (and I’m not just talking about some mumbo-jumbo self made up fact), is because it becomes a self coaching element as we read it. We start to build associations from the message with our own situations. By reading positive quotes, you are building on the confidence and opening up a healthy dialogue with your inner self.

 

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Acknowledge it, make peace with it, and replace it with something positive that is much more solid and powerful

So remember, the only way to remove negative self talk is if you acknowledge it, make peace with it, and replace it with something positive that is much more solid and powerful. This will only work with you do every step with intention. Of course, this does not take the hard work away (sorry if that’s what you’re here for!), you’ll still have to give 200% effort and ownership. But it does give you new eyes to see things in a fresh perspective so that you can mentally rise above your situation and come up with aligned and effective solutions with ease.