self talk

Breaking Up With Guilt Around Money

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Have you ever questioned yourself if pursuing more wealth and money is the "noble" thing to do? Are you afraid of being accused of "greed" when you chose the option makes you more money? Have you been told that you “don't deserve it". Have you held back from celebrating your own success because you thought it might make your family feel bad, because they did not manage to reach those achievements themselves?


Who are we kidding? Is it not right to take care of ourselves? Is it not right to make sure we can afford a roof over our heads and have food on the table? Better yet, isn’t it a great thing to be able to take care of others from the wealth that we create? To spread love, help others, or contribute to causes that we support? Unfortunately, not everyone seems to agree. You may be experiencing guilt from the hardwired internal dialogue, or punishing yourself for feeling great because you know the rest of your family hadn’t done so well in the past.


I know the word "guilt" used here is a powerful word, and I’m not trying to make things look pretty. Because we’ve brushed it under the carpet with our best efforts to not deal with it, only for it to accumulate that manifests in more money problems and heartbreak in the end. It’s an emotion that we experience deeply even though some of us don't even realise or acknowledge the presence of that feeling. It’s the moment that doesn’t feel right knowing you have to give up something you truly value to pursue an opportunity that pays better. Or it’s that discomfort about receiving more money because you believe you deserve less. Well, let’s talk about it.

A lot of us are stuck in this dilemma. On one hand we want to get more money out of our time – so that we can achieve our financial goals faster. On the other hand our mind interrogates ourselves asking us if we really deserve to achieve financial wealth on a higher level. This common scenario shows how our subconsciousness plays a big part in talking ourselves out of achieving true bliss, alignment, and happiness when it comes to making more money. It's so powerful that sometimes we manage to find reasons to get out of the opportunity that gives us more monetary reward.

To understand why this happens and untangle these feelings, we need to look into the self-talk that takes place when guilt kicks in. It comes up in many ways. They most commonly show up as dialogues like:

"I grew up in a family where we've always struggled with money, and now I feel ashamed to share my accomplishments with them"

"I feel like I'm not giving enough value to receive this much in return" or,

"I don't have the qualifications to be charging or being paid this much" or,

"Making this level of income means I might miss out important milestone moments of seeing my baby grow up"


Scripts like these will keep replaying in your head in the background. We all do a good job putting away our emotions in the day. We'll roll it into a ball and stuff it into our pockets. But the moment you quiet down these familiar voices make their way back into your head again, and they remind you that they're here to stay. They disguise themselves as being our "truths".


So you've allowed the guilt sit around for longer than you wished and it's finally time to call them out because it's not leading you anywhere. The best way and only way is to be at peace with your feelings and your inner self talk. In the beginning they were here to remind you to live with integrity and be the best possible version of yourself. They have served their purpose, and it's time to channel guilt into purposeful, useful energy. 


Know that there are many ways to be in touch with your emotions and receive a lot of money without feeling guilty. Know that you can associate your work to feelings of pride, passion and satisfaction. Know that the influence and impact you bring onto the world deserves much more credit than you allow yourself to receive. 


Know that by breaking up with guilt, you're releasing yourself from your limitations and false beliefs, so that you can finally enjoy the bliss of having abundance that's been waiting for you.

Why it's so hard for us to stop Self Sabotaging thoughts

Every once in a while we experience negative thinking or self-talk, or it creeps into our head without warning. We often jump quickly in response to halt our thoughts as soon as we identify these thoughts as negative chatter, which is followed by guilt enforced by our consciousness as a desperate attempt to mask our negativity to stop it from taking up more precious real estate in our minds. You know this all too well.

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How often does this happen to you? And do you ever wonder why you only go as far as identifying them, but not making any new breakthroughs that actually replace those thoughts in the first place?

The subconscious mind is a funny thing – it's out of sight but definitely not out of mind. As it's the primary driver that controls 95% of our thoughts; if you want to change your outcome and actions, the subconscious mind is where you'd like to start working on. When you're able to change what happens at the subconscious level, the change will reflect in your conscious thoughts, which allows you to come up with inspired actions that you'll acknowledge on the conscious level. Only then will your mind allow yourself to take meaningful action because your conscious thoughts is aligned with your subconsciousness.

What happens then, when your subconscious thoughts are not aligned with your consciousness? In this case you may start off doing something really motivated, you may do things initially with a lot of power, but you’d find yourself easily be distracted or deviate from your original path for any reason. You may wonder, what happens if you try really hard consciously to stick to your plan for the sake of it? Good luck trying, because doing this will cause you to lose motivation, and your mind will start to find evidence to convince yourself that this was not a good idea from the start. You'll find reasons to talk yourself out of it, and ultimately, you'll find yourself back in square one.

When will this cycle end? Never. It will never end, unless something changes. This means you have to go out of your way to break the cycle. Make a drastic change, uproot everything you've been doing, or pivot and head in a completely different direction. This is why a lot of times when some people fall into a financially bad situation, they stay in the situation indefinitely. This is due to their mindset following a certain pattern and cannot be broken out of the cycle without interference. 

So if you think a Mindset shift is for you, this is absolutely not the time to think small and make incremental changes. Sorry to break it to you, but fundamental change is the answer to breaking your habits of self sabotaging patterns. 

You can get help from a Mindset coach that serves to motivate and push you in the direction of your goals. Chances are – you'll be able to uncover thoughts and truths about yourself that you never knew you've held onto. The sooner you revolutionise your mind, the sooner you will achieve your next level success.

4 Self-loving steps you can take to master your subconsciousness when you don’t have money

If you’re reading this post, chances are, you’ve experienced that chatter like a broken tape in your own head for a while now, and to say that it’s bothersome and discouraging is just an absolute understatement. You want to “mute” it altogether. I totally understand, because I’ve spent so much time trying to “make it go away”, or like some people say, “just practice positive thinking”, or “just keeping working hard”, but I wish it was as simple as that.

It’s important to acknowledge that most of the time, we experience our internal struggles 1000 folds more than our external circumstances. The issue of not having money is super urgent to most people and that makes us more desperate to scramble for any quick solutions we can find.

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We experience our internal struggles 1000 folds more than our external circumstances

In times of stress, it’s natural to have an urge to fight these chatters out of our heads, but also understand they exist in our minds as a means of protective mechanism – so that our adrenaline keeps us from making mistakes in our next steps. But sometimes, our self-doubt and insecurities takeover and blind us from great opportunities that are just underneath our noses.

So I want to share with you my 4 easy and actionable steps to walk you through your difficult times. There is always a silver lining at the end of the tunnel.

 

STEP 1: Identify those factors that bring negative thoughts to your head

What is the “prompt” – such as an item, an action, a person, a negative influence, or something happening? Find out what is the one thing that pushes your buttons to unleash these uncontrolled negative self-talk? Learn how to look out for an anticipate dealing with these emotions next time so they don’t catch you off guard.

 

STEP 2: Write in a journal about your current emotions on your money struggle

Don’t be afraid to get 100% real with yourself to have this dialogue about your struggle, about your obstacles, and what you experience when caught between all these feelings. When you’re finished, underline words with negative sentiment, or odd sentences that stand out to you. Study your words. And make note of any underlying subconscious thoughts because they’re the ones we really want to get familiar with. Now it’s time to dive deeper and ask to yourself, why you are having those specific feelings? Such as – what exactly did I mean by “getting too much”, or, how much is “not having much to live with”. Problems always seem overbearing until we put them onto paper and break them down into small, manageable parts. Be very specific

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Write them down even if they are super small tasks, taking any action gives you momentum, and momentum gives you power

STEP 3: Turning struggle into meaningful action

So this step is very important. Convert those struggles from STEP 2 into specific actionable items, coming up with at least 2-5 immediate solutions on what you’re going to do about it and give yourself a manageable timeline. Write them down even if they are super small tasks, taking any action gives you momentum, and momentum gives you power. By listing out your solutions, you are reclaiming your control of the situation. Believe me – the more solutions you write, the ideas will trickle in. You can set them as “tasks” – the best way to keep yourself accountable is to make sure you put them in your calendar, so you can plan and anticipate your tasks coming up (this will free up your mind space) Actions only take place when you follow through!
 

STEP 4: Send yourself positive reminders with your phone wallpaper (this works super well)

We all look at our phones about 40-60 times each day on average (shocking, I know!). So make the best use of our time and valuable attention by sending a powerful message to ourselves each time we get a chance to look at it.

This is by far… my absolute favorite part. Head over to Pinterest and find yourself an uplifting affirmation quote that meets your soul’s needs, I mean, one that you can 100% resonate with. Chances are – if you see it enough times, your mind will believe it. Find a quote or positive message that directly addresses your internal struggle. The science behind motivational quotes and why they work (and I’m not just talking about some mumbo-jumbo self made up fact), is because it becomes a self coaching element as we read it. We start to build associations from the message with our own situations. By reading positive quotes, you are building on the confidence and opening up a healthy dialogue with your inner self.

 

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Acknowledge it, make peace with it, and replace it with something positive that is much more solid and powerful

So remember, the only way to remove negative self talk is if you acknowledge it, make peace with it, and replace it with something positive that is much more solid and powerful. This will only work with you do every step with intention. Of course, this does not take the hard work away (sorry if that’s what you’re here for!), you’ll still have to give 200% effort and ownership. But it does give you new eyes to see things in a fresh perspective so that you can mentally rise above your situation and come up with aligned and effective solutions with ease.