transformation

Coaching for Skeptics

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This blog post is for you if you are skeptical about what a coach can do. Being a mindset transformation coach myself, I have witnessed the level of change that good coaching can bring to a person’s life, career, health and relationships. But I’m not here to preach to you about why you need one, because both statements stand true – you’re right if you do, and you’re right if you don’t. Coaching only works for those who believe they need it.


So maybe you are reading this post purely out of curiosity, or you are on the fence about deciding to work with one and haven’t quite made the leap of faith – either way, you’re already here. As the title suggests, I wrote this post specifically for you who are skeptical about coaching, because you may be in my exact position where I first started my journey. But I’ll tell you this much is true – people who believe in coaching are 100% sold, and the people who don’t will tell you it’s a waste of money. Who then can you trust?


This is why I want to share my 3 biggest takeaways after hiring multiple coaches on different areas. I personally went through a journey that led me to discover a whole new understanding of what creates long term transformation. Since then I’ve become more open to making personal change from a fundamental level. I’ve also developed more sensitivity around establishing trust, rapport, and communication to help my clients with transformation in a bigger magnitude.


What got you here won’t get you there

Don’t waste your money on a coach if you are resistant to change. No magic potion or formula can help you if you are trying to get new results doing exactly the same things. Same goes to success, we cannot expect new breakthroughs if we keep thinking in the same mentality.


Our ego is a funny thing. We were confident enough to get us from where we were to where we are now – without it, we would not have come this far. However, there comes a time where we’ll need to leave our old beliefs behind for a new set of keys to unlock the next door. The magic only happens for those who are willing to leave their egos outside, step into humility, so that we can gain a new perspective for the next level.



You can’t help yourself if you are the problem

Do you ever wonder why it’s so easy to give advice to others but somehow we can never come up with our own advice for the challenges we face? Or that we doubt our abilities to follow through the solutions we prescribe ourselves?


The reason we find it so hard to see our situations objectively is because our minds are what created the problems in the first place; essentially we are the problem itself. Emotion also play a huge role in lowering our abilities to make fair decisions, so the only way to get an instant new perspective is from an external resource that has no emotional attachment to your problem. In this case, you can most definitely benefit from someone who is trained in looking into problems objectively that steers clear from judgement and bias.



A coach is so much more than a book or youtube

For the longest time, I was scrimping every free resource I could find online so that I could “DIY”. My mentality was that “everything is free, and there is nothing I cannot learn online”. Fair enough. In this digital age, we have more information than we could possibly consume in our lifetime, so a lack of information was never the problem.


I still remember clicking through all the “How to” videos in Youtube I could find on career, success, money, business etcetera. To my credit, I learnt how to build a beautiful website, start an email campaign, and put together a few blog posts; but they all led me nowhere. I was moving at 500 mph with no direction.


After having seen (and possibly stalked) a few entrepreneurs that started to get results online, I figured that I was burning all my energy in the wrong places, and was working very hard with no clear strategy. I was doing everything and achieved nothing at the same time. You can have all the greatest answers to the wrong questions if you don’t know the right questions to ask.



Being an skeptic myself (I’m on the extreme side of the spectrum), it took me much longer than I wanted to admit that I could benefit from the help of a coach. From questioning the coach’s credentials to doubting if the testimonials credibility – I finally made the decision to bite the bullet and acknowledge “I don’t know what I don’t know”, so that I could finally get the guidance I needed to take me to the next level before I burn all my fuel in the wrong engines. If your coach did not match your expectations, what’s the worst that could happen?


Sure, you could lose some time, money, energy… but nothing will cost you as much as not living up to your biggest potential.


Breaking Up With Guilt Around Money

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Have you ever questioned yourself if pursuing more wealth and money is the "noble" thing to do? Are you afraid of being accused of "greed" when you chose the option makes you more money? Have you been told that you “don't deserve it". Have you held back from celebrating your own success because you thought it might make your family feel bad, because they did not manage to reach those achievements themselves?


Who are we kidding? Is it not right to take care of ourselves? Is it not right to make sure we can afford a roof over our heads and have food on the table? Better yet, isn’t it a great thing to be able to take care of others from the wealth that we create? To spread love, help others, or contribute to causes that we support? Unfortunately, not everyone seems to agree. You may be experiencing guilt from the hardwired internal dialogue, or punishing yourself for feeling great because you know the rest of your family hadn’t done so well in the past.


I know the word "guilt" used here is a powerful word, and I’m not trying to make things look pretty. Because we’ve brushed it under the carpet with our best efforts to not deal with it, only for it to accumulate that manifests in more money problems and heartbreak in the end. It’s an emotion that we experience deeply even though some of us don't even realise or acknowledge the presence of that feeling. It’s the moment that doesn’t feel right knowing you have to give up something you truly value to pursue an opportunity that pays better. Or it’s that discomfort about receiving more money because you believe you deserve less. Well, let’s talk about it.

A lot of us are stuck in this dilemma. On one hand we want to get more money out of our time – so that we can achieve our financial goals faster. On the other hand our mind interrogates ourselves asking us if we really deserve to achieve financial wealth on a higher level. This common scenario shows how our subconsciousness plays a big part in talking ourselves out of achieving true bliss, alignment, and happiness when it comes to making more money. It's so powerful that sometimes we manage to find reasons to get out of the opportunity that gives us more monetary reward.

To understand why this happens and untangle these feelings, we need to look into the self-talk that takes place when guilt kicks in. It comes up in many ways. They most commonly show up as dialogues like:

"I grew up in a family where we've always struggled with money, and now I feel ashamed to share my accomplishments with them"

"I feel like I'm not giving enough value to receive this much in return" or,

"I don't have the qualifications to be charging or being paid this much" or,

"Making this level of income means I might miss out important milestone moments of seeing my baby grow up"


Scripts like these will keep replaying in your head in the background. We all do a good job putting away our emotions in the day. We'll roll it into a ball and stuff it into our pockets. But the moment you quiet down these familiar voices make their way back into your head again, and they remind you that they're here to stay. They disguise themselves as being our "truths".


So you've allowed the guilt sit around for longer than you wished and it's finally time to call them out because it's not leading you anywhere. The best way and only way is to be at peace with your feelings and your inner self talk. In the beginning they were here to remind you to live with integrity and be the best possible version of yourself. They have served their purpose, and it's time to channel guilt into purposeful, useful energy. 


Know that there are many ways to be in touch with your emotions and receive a lot of money without feeling guilty. Know that you can associate your work to feelings of pride, passion and satisfaction. Know that the influence and impact you bring onto the world deserves much more credit than you allow yourself to receive. 


Know that by breaking up with guilt, you're releasing yourself from your limitations and false beliefs, so that you can finally enjoy the bliss of having abundance that's been waiting for you.

Why it's so hard for us to stop Self Sabotaging thoughts

Every once in a while we experience negative thinking or self-talk, or it creeps into our head without warning. We often jump quickly in response to halt our thoughts as soon as we identify these thoughts as negative chatter, which is followed by guilt enforced by our consciousness as a desperate attempt to mask our negativity to stop it from taking up more precious real estate in our minds. You know this all too well.

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How often does this happen to you? And do you ever wonder why you only go as far as identifying them, but not making any new breakthroughs that actually replace those thoughts in the first place?

The subconscious mind is a funny thing – it's out of sight but definitely not out of mind. As it's the primary driver that controls 95% of our thoughts; if you want to change your outcome and actions, the subconscious mind is where you'd like to start working on. When you're able to change what happens at the subconscious level, the change will reflect in your conscious thoughts, which allows you to come up with inspired actions that you'll acknowledge on the conscious level. Only then will your mind allow yourself to take meaningful action because your conscious thoughts is aligned with your subconsciousness.

What happens then, when your subconscious thoughts are not aligned with your consciousness? In this case you may start off doing something really motivated, you may do things initially with a lot of power, but you’d find yourself easily be distracted or deviate from your original path for any reason. You may wonder, what happens if you try really hard consciously to stick to your plan for the sake of it? Good luck trying, because doing this will cause you to lose motivation, and your mind will start to find evidence to convince yourself that this was not a good idea from the start. You'll find reasons to talk yourself out of it, and ultimately, you'll find yourself back in square one.

When will this cycle end? Never. It will never end, unless something changes. This means you have to go out of your way to break the cycle. Make a drastic change, uproot everything you've been doing, or pivot and head in a completely different direction. This is why a lot of times when some people fall into a financially bad situation, they stay in the situation indefinitely. This is due to their mindset following a certain pattern and cannot be broken out of the cycle without interference. 

So if you think a Mindset shift is for you, this is absolutely not the time to think small and make incremental changes. Sorry to break it to you, but fundamental change is the answer to breaking your habits of self sabotaging patterns. 

You can get help from a Mindset coach that serves to motivate and push you in the direction of your goals. Chances are – you'll be able to uncover thoughts and truths about yourself that you never knew you've held onto. The sooner you revolutionise your mind, the sooner you will achieve your next level success.